celebrating syb…

It’s been eight years since I wrote these words and spoke them at her memorial.
Eight years since we said our “see-you-laters” to this beautiful spirit…our mother, our grandmother, our great-grandmother.
She was bossy, vocal, boundlessly energetic, and loyal…so very loyal. The pride and love that she allowed all of us to grow up enveloped in were immeasurable. My hope, Grandma, is that in these years since our parting…we have all continued living lives that would make you proud.
Miss you still…love you more. 

october 24, 2011…

When I first thought about what I might say about Grandma, I thought, “How lucky am I? I have over 35 years of memories to choose from.” But, whittling down that many years of memories to just a few to share today seemed, well…..daunting. So, then I thought I would share with you all the ways I’ve seen Grandma change over the years when it struck me that Grandma wasn’t the one who changed. Grandma had been the constant. It was my perception of her that had changed through the years, and therefore, she changed me.

Perhaps one of these first “shifts” was shortly after the birth of my first son. Growing up…I had always known that Grandma had had a baby girl, Donna Jean, and she lost that baby girl to an illness when she was just a few months old. When my son was around the same age, I clearly saw Grandma not as “Grandma”…but as a young, scared, first-time mother. How she survived that loss…I don’t know. But I know I saw her differently. I could picture her younger. Stronger. Filled with sadness…but also, hope. She had always been that person…I was just then “seeing it”. It changed me.

Another of these “shifts” began a few years ago when Grandma sold her house in Ellsworth and moved to Charlevoix, just two blocks down from my house. It was nice. We would share meals, rides, and visits….simple things. But at the time, I had no idea just how much her move would mean, how much I would be changed. Through Grandma…and my daughter…and their unique bond.

Grandma’s place was Ellie’s “haven”. When our house got too busy and chaotic or too quiet and boring…Ellie would head to Grandma’s. They would mosey downtown together or browse Kmart together. Ellie would help Grandma with her trash, her recycling, and her laundry. Some days they would just stay in the apartment and play board games and puzzles or watch TV and visit with the neighbors. I can tell you that Ellie knows more elderly Pine River residents than any other 10-year old and Grandma…she knew more about Disney, fashion, and TeenNick than any other 85-year old. What they shared changed me…because it changed my daughter. Without realizing it…Grandma gave Ellie confidence, showed her strength, and taught her how to be a “young lady” without ever choking her care-free spirit. Grandma gave her…herself.

We can see Grandma’s corner apartment from the road and Ellie is always checking for lights and activity. Someday…maybe…we’ll get out of the habit of checking for her lights. But…the life she lit and the spirit she illuminated will forever shine bright.